"... By acknowledging the emotion, dropping whatever story we are telling ourselves about it, and feeling the energy of the moment , we cultivate compassion for ourselves..". (Pema Chodron)
Photo by Chris Ensey on Unsplash
For some of us, the giving and receiving of love can be a radical act, especially if we have experienced pain, trauma, suffering or rejection. It may feel like a significant risk to open to love, and we may feel that this leaves us vulnerable or open to being hurt again.
Embracing the possibility of joy and connection, despite the risks, takes courage and may take diving into the depths of despair, dismantling walls and letting go of fear. It may take challenging deeply ingrained beliefs about ourselves and our place in the world. However, embracing love can be an act of rebellion against past hurts, expectations or internalised narratives.
But how do we embrace love? And what if we don't have a partner, or intimate lover to embrace love with? Do we try and practice self-love? Well, yes, and no.
This is where Compassion Meditation is a valuable and wonderful practice…
Indeed, this is where Compassion Meditation can be a valuable and wonderful practice to undertake on a regular basis.
Compassion Meditation has a long history within Buddhist Traditions as it is one of the Buddhist Four Immeasurables (or the Four Boundless Qualities) – Equanimity, Love, Compassion and Joy. Compassion (Karuna in Sanskrit or Pali) in Buddhism is the wish that all sentient beings be freed from suffering. It allows us to recognise the suffering and difficulties that all beings experience and respond with a genuine desire to alleviate that suffering. It is a feeling that is profoundly deeper than both sympathy and empathy and is an active form of empathy that motivates compassionate action (Lion's Roar, 2024).
Compassion has also been studied extensively in the West by Dr Kristen Neff, Professor Paul Gilbert and many others. Roberts (2019) states that "...empathy is the capacity to take on others' perspectives to see through their eyes or sense another's emotion and to resonate with them, whereas, rather than activating a shared representation of pain, compassion activates a shared representation of nurture and nourishment – an experience of supportive care and sustenance. Roberts (2019) goes on to quote Compassionate Mind (2019)…
"Compassion is feeling for someone, empathy is feeling like someone."
The Buddhist practices of compassion include Tonglen (the practice of sending and taking) and Metta Bhavana (the practice of Loving Kindness). However, Compassion Practice is not limited to Buddhism and is practiced extensively within the Western Mindfulness Tradition. Examples of Western Teachers focussing on compassion include Kristen Neff, Self Compassion: by Kristen Neff, Professor Paul Gilbert, Compassionate Mind Foundation, James Kirby and Dr Stan Steindl.
Compassion is also practiced in a slightly different format within Yoga and Classical Tantra, for example Bhakti Yoga (the practice of Devotion), or meditation on the effulgent light of the heart as outlined in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, to name a few.
In Tantra, we practice the embodiment of love. As Wallis in his book Near Enemies of the Truth (2024) and as illustrated succinctly in his YouTube short, discussed, that to "Love Myself" has a certain anomaly whereby we need to split ourselves into two, the part that is doing the "loving" and the part that is being "loved". This misses the point that we are already primordially whole and complete; that we are already love. And further, to add my own personal interpretation, that we are already in oneness with the universal perfect tapestry of love.
The greatest contribution you can make is to do this work (sic. radical acceptance of what is, un-dividing). If you do, everything you put your hand to – whether art or business or community service – will be infused with the light of loving awareness, with the power of the integrated state, with soft strength of the truly open and available Heart (Wallis, 2017).
New
Meditation
Class
Please join me on Monday evenings for around 40 minutes of nurturing Compassion Practices, where we will spend a very important, significant period cultivating self-compassion and this understanding of perfect "self-wholeness", before moving into more traditional Buddhist Practices of Metta Bhavana and the practice of compassion for all sentient beings.
Starting Monday 19th August
Continuing every Monday
Welcome to Join Anytime
7pm
Online
Note: Whilst this is not a Beginners Class and a certain level of meditation experience is expected, Beginners are more than welcome to join.
References
Lion’s Roar (2024) “What is Compassion (Karuna) in Buddhism”, [Online], accessed Friday 9th August 2024, , https://www.lionsroar.com/buddhism/compassion-karuna/>
Roberts, C. (2019) “Meditation as Lifestyle Medicine – What is the difference between Empathy & Compassion”, [Online], accessed Friday 9th August, 2024, https://biyome.com.au/meditation/empathy-and-compassion/
Wallis, C. (Hareesh) (2024) “What is the problem with “Love Yourself”?” [Online - YouTube], accessed Friday 9th August, 2024, https://youtube.com/shorts/K5PTx1WrMko?si=CgQpSaSOQPhDAo6e
Wallis, C. (Hareesh) (2017), “Becoming Undivided”, [Online], accessed Saturday 10th August, 2024, <https://hareesh.org/blog/2017/1/3/becoming-undivided>
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